Thoughts...

7:23am: just a quickie
hello to all, i'm still alive! whoo!

I'm still working onthat short story, i've been so consumed with catching up on doctor who and grey' anatomy, that between that, sleep, and getting out in to the sunshine have beenthe only things i've done for the past couple of weeks. I'm on my last week here in germany, we'll see what i actually get done before my return to usa :)

good note!!!! -> dave's moving in with me! *squeel* i'm excited about that!!!!

5:01pm: bitty update
hey all-

for those who didn't get the memo, i'm going to summer school in france. so far its okay, but today has not been anyfun while yesterday was hella cool. jsut a bad day today.

i'm going back to germany on the 23rd to live it up with bryce and tara. zhich means relaxing, sleeping in, and prolly^playing lots of war craft and watching movies!!!

love to all. when i get back to germany, i'll prolly write up the start of a story i'm working on. the keyboards here in france are seriously messed up with puncuation and their funny accented letters, so it'd be way too frustrating to do it now. i'll just kinda edit and ponder things for the next two weeks before i can get it up.

to tease, I'll give you the first line:

"I am the only bunny i know who loves airplane food."

Love!

10:20pm: encouragement
Yes, I'm alive, whoo hoo! (yes?)

So i've had some rather enthousiastic encouragement to write again, not LJ, but poetry and short stories. I don't know how i quite feel about this since its been about 4 years since i've written anything other than journals about, 'omg, life sucks and let me pour out all of my anger/grief/frustration/tears on to something that can't look at me back/judge me for being pitiful/dumb.'

its kinda nice to be a bit perplexed on the encouragement to write. there are so many other nastys of the world that could take up brain power. And as mere piddly humans who don't use much of the brain anyway, the more for happy/productive things the better!

4:20pm: w00t
I HAVE AIR FARE TO GERMANY FOR THE SUMMER!


*happydance*happydance*shakethatbooty*girlgettingdownwithherbadself*happydance*

3:44pm: huh
So i just got someone fired today. Glad he's gone but sad he's willingly ignorant... Meh

2:48pm: FYI
No, i've not died, i've just been a bit absent from the world of LJ and 'social' interneting. Damn school...

here's the gist since december:

-moved in to a house (hooray dave helping!)
-great xmas with family
-house leaks, badly
-mary moved out for a month
-got myself a boytoy (hooray dave helping!)
-finally got mary's room fixed, but not mine
-got two overwhelmingly sick dogs
-got into beaucoup debt
-dogs got better
-house very very very very very dirty and smelly (thanks pups...)


Currently working on:

-keeping my A's in NAFTA and Organic Chemistry (yeah baby ochem!)
-finding a better home for the pups
-paying house bills (cable and the like)
-keeping the boytoy on his toes (muahahaha!)
-keeping my sanity in the jelly jar (they never break!)

12:37pm: w00t snow and humpday being half over :)

horray for pool tomorrow night!

and saturday sleep is getting closer, ah *happydance*

8:58am: life...
Life is really good, and really bad all at the same time. While i'm not freaking out and crying all the time, i'm definetly not yippy-skippy either. Almost like i'min purgatory without the incredibly negative connotation. This is interesting...

Being landlady kinda sucks balls when you're house leaks, just fyi. :)

4:07am: huh...
so i'm more confused than ever. either path i wanted to take is blocked my so many issues i don't wanna start listing. And now i think i'm pushing a path just to have one.

Man, i just gotta stop... oy

7:05pm: unhappy
not well. i don't like myself currently.

6:15pm: sadface
i'm so boring, i was offered free drinks and a trip to my first casino and i passed it up for some nasty ass home made biscuits and tomato soup. I tried to freehand make biscuits which is a BAD IDEA!!!

barfy barf, i feel gross and yucky when i could have been feeling drunk and losing money with buddies.

*sigh* and i was kinda up for some human contact but not as exciting as casino fun. Like, couch, using friends as pillows kinda fun. balh

okay, bed time before midnight, i'm as boring as a old biddy! ahhh! dammit i'm old and boring. birthdays are evil (except the free alcohol that comes with it!!)

blarg

3:27am: birthday fun
So last night was the greatest impromptu fun at oconnells (bar here in norman) EVER!

shout out to mary, she got me home, and took my shoes off, gave me a barf bucket (which i didn't use!) and set my alarm to get up for class this morning. Wow, how cool is she?!?! pretty much since i don't remember her doing that, jsut saw the evidence that she did it, she gets a high five in my book :)

so this morning, i tihnk i'm either still a bit drunk, or i'm gonna have a hang over. This would be #5 hangover of my life. Why do i keep tally? because its fun and rarely get them. when i do, its a *very* memorable event.


OH! funny thing happened last night (okay, there were prolly heaps of funnythings last night, but this one is a bit embarressing too. wait. there were other embarresssing things that happened last night. like telling one of my frat brothers who i've a crush on while he's sitting next to me... damn, theres that too... anyway, this one is funny too) so! mom finally calls yesterday to wish a happy birthday, and when she asks how i'm doing, i come right out and reply with 'i'm kinda drunk!' i'm sure every parent wants to hear that their child is drunk when they call. oops. i'm glad my parents know i'm a bit of a lush. i'm responsible though! mary took me home :) i couldn't drive if my life depended on it.

again, thanks to all who came out, you guys are my heros!

6:04am: wheel of torture!

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

8:36pm: pouts
half an hour more of staying awake, then i'm off to say screw it all and slumber.

Mr. Japan-man had to go back to work. It was nice to acually talk to him and not keep playing IM tag. thats frustrating after a time.

today couldn't have gotten better. Snow day,no work, movies on TV, hot chocolate, then i got to talk to mr. japan-man. i had such a good time, then he had to leave to go back to work. sadface. then i realized i hadn't seen mary in days, again, sadface. so now i'm trying to stay up just a bit more so i can maybe talk to him again.

*sigh* i miss mary, and i wanna talk to him again. I know i'm being all sad emo-ish. jsut let me be.

I'm happy that school is cancelled tomorrow too! whooo no french test till monday :)

9:42am: mary's family rocks!
AHHHHH!!! OMFGWFTLUMPIAS! WOOT, LIKE, HOLY FREAKING COW WOOT!!! *happydance* I actually started squealling while mom was putting ornaments on the tree.


just OMFG! I'M SO HAPPY! wwhhheeeeee!

Party at mary and my house! We're all eating lumipas still we can't! (but y ou can't stop until they're gone!)

ahhhhhhhHHhhh! i'm so exciting, man, i'm so excited. i love me some ethnic friends :P

7:38pm: gobble
great turkey day, just me and the 'rents with *two* servings of pie! life is good

and i think i might have persuaded mom to go to india next christmas with one of my fraternity brothers and her family. She's from India and we'd get a local guide AND and excuse for them to see the sights of their country. AND! there's no required vaccines to get since we're coming from the US. (there's recommended, sure, but since we're a bit biohazard free, no vac's needed!)

*happydance* i hope i get to go. Yes, i wanted to get to Japan and see a friend out there, but maybe i save that trip for May before he gets reassigned. Who knows? India would be hella cool, yo!

4:15pm: socks!
how sad is it that iv'e a pair of socks that all i wanna do is prance around in them and my bunny slippers?!?

its pretty damn sad :)

4:54pm: lorotab fun
Since my last post, my feelings/yerns have subsided considerably. While i don't know if they're gone forever or just on pause, going to bed has been so much easier. My only questions is what the other person thinks. Same? Nothing? oh well, i'll never know.

Blah. Now i've got two others running around my mind. One 22 hours away, and the other just way too much of an upgrade. Shit, the saying goes that no one is outta your league, but i just don't see how the attraction would be returned. I dunno. I gotta be okay with me being alone (or rather, single) before thinking about dating.

Just blah. I'm not totally depressed like my posts keep being. But for right now i'm all migrainy :( oy, horray friday tomorrow! i fly to houston for Grandfather's 90th bday. 90th!!! holycow goodness! freakin' amazing :)

6:50pm: sad times
the past 2.5 weeks have been the longest and shortest of my life. The hours drip like mollasses on a cold day, yet run together like hot oil across the stove. I'm ready for a bit of balance in my life.

Since this all started, i've wanted to call and run into a specific pair of arms. Not only would it be inconvinent, it would also be a complete retrogression of how far i've come. All i think about are the happy times and the fun and the love. I think i want that safety back. I've been on my own and in total control of everything in mylife. Its hard. I miss the fact that I had someone else to rest my head on. Someone else wondering if i made it home. And someone else i could think about the same way.

I can't look for someone like this, i'll only end up with someone wrong for me. I've got towait and become comfortable with myself again. Its only when I'm not looking does someone saunter in to my life. *sigh* That'll be such a long wait. I've some healing/balancing to get done first. *pout*

9:11pm: update
hey all, fun times mostly:

Mom and i bought a townhouse! 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, needs the kitchen cabinets to be re painted as well as the dinning room and living room. its brownand green with a 'stucco' like texture that they failed at. Barf, but happy paint! I've a million pain chips at home, and it looks like replacing the cabinetry won't be too 'spensive.

Before this, funwas had thrusday night at SinCity with my girl friends, afterparty started well, but by the end a guy creeped me out and i used mary to run away. What a trooper, i'm very blessed to have her as a reason to run away. I'm still more than a bit weired out by the night's events, but i'm getting to be okay. I did get mr. cutie-doorman's #, and shall be seeing him at work this thrusday :-P

Ah, another hard week of tests, getting house inspections set up, and going to Baton Rouge this weekend! w00t LEAD! (deltasig thing) learning and drinking and deltasigs galore! I'll be in heaven with all my brothers (and ones i don't know yet!!!)

so yes, stress upon stress, and i'm finacially in tears. living paycheck to paycheck is not a way to live when you're trying to get to baton rouge and *not* starve... *pouts*

3:16am: and one more thing!
whooo!! hooray for the cardinals making it to the world series, not all of my teams suck this year!

hot damn! go team!!!

w00t

2:53am: i'm delirious
its way to late (like 3am) i'vehad about 3.5 hours of sleep (read 3am-7amish wednesday night) and tonight is not looking so good for sleep potential.

Basically, i'm the *biggest* ho-tard and didn't time-manage well and am trying to write up a business anaylsis of Peugeot. Not a big deal, just stand up there and talk for 15ish minutes... IN FREAKING FRENCH!!!! (@$%^@#$%^&*((*!!!!


OY! I've half the report (okay, just under half) written, but theres so much more, editing, printing out, and rehersing.

i.hate.being.so.dumb :'(

to top it off, i work from 1130am to about 12-1am. jsut about anything i want to say, i woudl have to follow with, 'excuse my french.' the irony is great :)

1:28pm: slap me!
So tuesday i was stood up for the first time in my life. That was really an irritating experience. But i'm over being pissed about it, and he sent me a message with the first words being an apology. Brownie points for that, but napping through a date is jsut lame. Oh well, we're trying again thrusday, so here's to hoping for a date at all, and maybe a successful one! :)

Any time i feel like my life is boring or unexciting, someone slap me, not only will it become more exciting instantly, but then i'd realize my life is always interesting and not to create waves cuz then i'm getting closwer to the undertoe thats *always* there and will drag myself under.

Okay, to work! (the home kind, yet i'm in the lounge of the biz college... huh) yeah,

6:28am: lol
so i told Yesh that hanging out with him, sam, bret, and trox was more fun than studying. Can we get a 'Duh, here's your sign' kinda thing? That made him laugh, it was hearty and i enjoyed my complete obviousness.

So what made the night fun was a) pretty quick Deltasig meeting b) meeting up with said people c) skipping out on about 2-3 hours of study time to go to applebees and...

d) leaving a rather flirty (bret said something along the lines of 'whore') note to the cutie waiter. it read along the lines of 'I like your tattoo, i've got two of my own. gimme a ring and i might play show and tell' (oh criminie... damn american language! ring as in phone, but reading it right there is like 'marry me' and thats SO NOT WHAT I WAS GOING FOR!!! shite, (@%#)@#(@%% ohwell.... maybe he's smarter than that)
anyway, i left my #, and since Riggs is a rather masculine name, and i was with my gays, i put an extra note that said 'the blonde girl' so he'd know exactly who was leaving the note. Oddly, there was only *slight* hesitation/anxiety to it all. I just up and did it, just like that. It was amazing! I've only done that once before, but sofar i've got a 100% call-back rate going on! And if he doesn't call, oh well, not like i've really lost any time/effort, and it was fun! win-win in my view :-D


The boys got a good laugh outta it, so that pretty much makes it all worth it :P oh! and i had to take a phone call just before dinner came out and i had to tell the table 'boys, i'll be right back' and the caller cracked up, saying i was some player girl and had a table full-o-boys to keep me company. while yes, at least the latterhalf is completely true (don't comment on the first half :p) when i told her that 'the boys' were my gays, she laughed harder and was so proud to have me as her faux-niece. (long explination to the f-n thing, just smile andnod)

fun night, and now to drive home and go to bed. Sad that my flirtying and promising to be nice didn't suade Ro to join me in the union. Right before i left for NZ we had met late one night studying for tests and such. we kept in touch, and now i see him off and on around campus, always trying to get him to come to theunion to study. Honest to goodness not anatomy!

night all

3:22pm: Irish Viagra
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week and let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was orrid...just horrid! Just terrible,doctor!"

Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped his self straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulgin' fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatter and took me then and there, making wild, passionate love to me on the table top! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!!!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?

"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T'was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I am sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"